Stupid Boy
by Rose Colt
Summary: Jake reflects on how Sam Uley really is a stupid boy, how else could he have let Leah Clearwater get away? Song-fic. One-shot. AH. Rated T for some mature references. Blackwater all the way... Read and review!


**Disclaimer: All characters belong to S. Meyer. Music belongs to Keith Urban and Sarah Buxton.**

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_**Well she was precious like a flower…**_

You thought of her as a rose, your rose…fragile and precious and in need of constant devotion and tenderness… It took you a long, long time to realize that it wasn't that she needed devotion and tenderness, but that she deserved them. She was Queen Anne's Lace or Chicory. A wildflower that lasted each year without being tended

_**She grew wild, wild but innocent…**_

She wasn't fragile. She was tough, relentless and sometimes plain infuriating with her naivety and her hopes and her faith in everyone. As she got older, she became bolder. She spoke out and she let you know when you were wrong. It was stunning and terrifying at the same time.

_**A perfect prayer in a desperate hour…**_

She always knew what you needed, the kind words, the quiet shoulder to lean on. She was strength and she was your solid belief in everything that was good in this world. She was there the night your dad walked out, having one too many beers and a little too few dollars and he was sick of the family-man routine. She was there listening to your mother weep and listening to your strained breathing at the anger you felt for such a dastardly man.

_**She was everything beautiful and different…**_

You can still remember her in that meadow, a single flower woven into her long black braid. She was spinning, spinning so fast and wild and free and you wanted to stop her and join her at the same time. You told her she was going to get dizzy and fall, and she told you that was fine, she'd get back up.

_**Stupid boy, you can't fence that in. It's like holding back the wind…**_

She moved in ways you couldn't believe. Her body pliant as the streams she waded in during late spring. Her hair danced around her in beat to the breeze. She was breathtaking and for some reason all you wanted was to grab hold of her, this spinning wildflower, and hold on for life. What you didn't know was that she couldn't be held down, she couldn't be stopped. But she loved you enough to have grasped your hand in hers and let you float along with her.

_**She laid her heart and soul right in your hands…**_

The image of her lying there in that lush grass, her hair spread around you. Limbs tangled, the air filled with gasps and moans. She gave you all of herself that night, she gave it willingly and she gave it out of love. It wasn't just her body you possessed, it was her everything.

_**And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans…**_

You soon realized it wasn't enough. She dreamed of getting away, of seeing the world and finding herself. And you dreamed of keeping her forever. You wanted to share her with no one, and so you became mean. You were scared, you knew she was meant for something greater than you and your rusted old pickup, so you told her that every naïve girl dreams of getting away. They only end up coming home with their tail between their legs. No, you wouldn't let her get any big ideas, because you were made for small ones in small towns. No big dreams for your girl.

_**She never even knew she had a choice, that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't…**_

That's what happens when you start opening your mouth, because she listens to you. She trusts you and knows you want what's best for her. So she stops filling out the scholarships and starts looking into community college nearby. But that's not what you want… you want her and that's it. At all costs, all you want is her.

_**Stupid boy, stupid boy.**_

You see the light slowly leaving her eyes; you see how much you're hurting her. But you don't stop. You admit to being an idiot, but you think the end justifies the means…so you don't stop.

_**So what made you think you could take a life and just push it, push it around…**_

Every time you heard her disheartening sighs, every time you saw the anguish in her eyes, you felt a pang in your heart. You were ruining her life; you were grabbing it and bending it to your will. But it didn't matter. Sue was bringing home bridal magazines instead of college brochures and that made you happy. You began to ignore those small pangs, began to ignore her sighs and eventually stopped looking in her sad hazel eyes.

_**I guess to build yourself up so high…**_

Soon you started to become irritated with her depressing attitude. You wanted a wife not a martyr, so you started paying attention to the pretty cashier at the liquor store around the corner. Her name was Emma and her teeth were big and bright, surrounded by thin lips. When she invited you to bring your freshly purchased Jack Daniels over for a nightcap, you thought about the broken girl waiting for you at home, and quickly agreed.

_**You had to take her and break her down…**_

As you were losing yourself in Emma, over and over again, you were imagining longer fingers pulling your hair and curvier hips arching into you. But that free spirited girl was long gone now, and all that was left were the voicemails she left you that night. She was worried sick over you, and stayed up all night by the phone. When you walked into the house, it was three in the morning and she was asleep at the table. Your heart broke when you saw her and you went to wake gently shake her awake. She hugged you tightly to her chest, so glad you were home safe, and that's when she smelled the cheap perfume mixed with the toxic whiskey. She pulled away and, before you could utter any kind of explanation, slapped you across the cheek.

_**You always had to be right, and now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive…**_

She locked herself in her room and by the time you rolled off the couch the next morning, she was gone. All that was left of your five-year romance was the meager engagement ring sitting on the coffee table. You cried that day for the first time since your father stormed out. You realized that you lost the one person that loved you more than their self, and it killed you.

_**Oh you're the same old, same old stupid boy…**_

I watched you crumble as time went on. She had been gone for over a year and you were lost. A pathetic excuse for a man, shacking up with Emma because you had nothing better to do. I used to look up to you, you had tamed Leah Clearwater and that deserved some respect.

_**It took a while for her to figure out she could run but when she did she was long gone, long gone…**_

But you didn't tame her. You chained her down. You tried to break her, and for a while she let you. But the day she ran from you was the day she broke those chains. And during my second year of school, when we finally had a class together, I discovered your story. I learned from your mistakes.

_**Nobody's gonna love you like she loved you. She loved you, she loved you.**_

I think about you. She loved you, did you know? She tells me all the time of how she loved you. She loved you to the moon and back again, loved you more than I'm sure another will ever love you.

_**You plead, just let her know you're sorry, oh you're sorry, you're sorry…**_

I run into you now and again. You've heard the news, and you know we're getting married in the fall. You were surprised at the October wedding, but what you didn't know is that it's not Spring that's her favorite. It's autumn and her favorite flower blooms in late September, Amaryllis Belladonna.

_**Yeah you're down on your knees…**_

I've come home twice to find you on the porch. You're on your knees begging her to let you in, to let you have a chance. You reek of alcohol and your hairs long and disheveled. I walk up to you slowly, put a hand on your shoulder, and suggest you leave.

_**She's never going back to you…**_

And when I walk inside, she's standing on the other side of the door, and I see the tears streaming down her face and I know she's crying not because she still loves you but because of what you've let yourself become. She said you were better than that.

_**You stupid boy.**_

I'm watching her now, and she's dancing in that same meadow. She's got our baby girl in her arms and they're both laughing and twirling in time to some unknown beat. She's full of a wild passion and untamed spirit that I only hope my daughter one-day exhibits. And when Leah reaches her hand out to me, I grasp it as tight as I can, knowing that I'll never be able to hold her back. But if I'm lucky enough and I hang on tight, then the next time she feels the need to run maybe she'll carry me with her.

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